Nothing like a good opportunity to try get some sympathy, here's a bulletin I posted on MySpace yesterday before I had my wisdom teeth out:
OK I'M TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I'M EXCITED BUT NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.
BASICALLY, TODAY I HAD A PRE-OP BECAUSE TOMORROW I HAVE AN OP. I BELIEVE AN OP IS SHORT FOR AN OPERATION.
I HAVE TO GET FOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT, WHICH, IF YOU LIVE ON MARS OR IN SINGAPORE, ARE THE TEETH AT THE FOUR CORNERS OF YOUR MOUTH.
MANY PEOPLE DO GOTTA HAVE THEM OUT, SO I'M ONE OF THEM. SORRY FOR TALKING LIKE JASON MRAZ THEN.
I HAVE TO BE PUT UNDER GENERAL ANAESTHETIC, WHICH I THINK MAKES ME DEAD FOR AN HOUR, AND THEN THEY PLUCK AWAY. I WAS DISCUSSING THE PROCEDURE WITH MY SISTER, AND I USED A VERY CLEVER ANALOGY:
DON'T CALL IT AN OPERATION, CALL IT A PROCEDURE. I PREFER TO THINK OF IT AS A GAS 'N' GO. HOWEVER IN BETWEEN GETTING GAS AND GOING, MY SURGEON POPS INTO THE GARAGE AND GETS SOME CRISPS.
THE CRISPS ARE MY TEETH, THE GAS IS ANAESTHETIC. VERY CLEVER.
ANYWAY, YEAH, I'VE BEEN THINKING - I MIGHT DIE.
IF I DO DIE, AS I HAVE EXPRESSED TO MANY SURROUNDING ME, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE SONG 'GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN' BY CYNDI LAUPER IS PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL BECAUSE I THINK IT SUMS ME UP BEST. ALSO, I WOULD LIKE ONE BY WILL YOUNG AND ONE BY JAMES BLUNT, BECAUSE IF MY HEART WROTE SONGS IT WOULD SOUND LIKE THEIRS.
IF I DON'T DIE, THERE'S A VERY GOOD CHANCE THAT IN LOSING MY WISDOM TEETH, I WILL LOSE MY WISE. I DON'T WANNA LOSE MY WISE. IT IS OBVIOUS WHO HAS NO WISDOM TEETH AS THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO WISE. BEN AND RICHARD HAVE PROBABLY HAD THEIRS REMOVED.
SO YEAH, IF I COME BACK TOMORROW NIGHT AND SEEM A LITTLE ODD, IT COULD BE THE MORPHINE DRIP HANGING OUT OF MY ARM, BUT MOST LIKELY IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE RUN OUT OF WISE.
For the record, I have plenty of wise and as far as I know I survived.
OK I'M TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I'M EXCITED BUT NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.
BASICALLY, TODAY I HAD A PRE-OP BECAUSE TOMORROW I HAVE AN OP. I BELIEVE AN OP IS SHORT FOR AN OPERATION.
I HAVE TO GET FOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT, WHICH, IF YOU LIVE ON MARS OR IN SINGAPORE, ARE THE TEETH AT THE FOUR CORNERS OF YOUR MOUTH.
MANY PEOPLE DO GOTTA HAVE THEM OUT, SO I'M ONE OF THEM. SORRY FOR TALKING LIKE JASON MRAZ THEN.
I HAVE TO BE PUT UNDER GENERAL ANAESTHETIC, WHICH I THINK MAKES ME DEAD FOR AN HOUR, AND THEN THEY PLUCK AWAY. I WAS DISCUSSING THE PROCEDURE WITH MY SISTER, AND I USED A VERY CLEVER ANALOGY:
DON'T CALL IT AN OPERATION, CALL IT A PROCEDURE. I PREFER TO THINK OF IT AS A GAS 'N' GO. HOWEVER IN BETWEEN GETTING GAS AND GOING, MY SURGEON POPS INTO THE GARAGE AND GETS SOME CRISPS.
THE CRISPS ARE MY TEETH, THE GAS IS ANAESTHETIC. VERY CLEVER.
ANYWAY, YEAH, I'VE BEEN THINKING - I MIGHT DIE.
IF I DO DIE, AS I HAVE EXPRESSED TO MANY SURROUNDING ME, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE SONG 'GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN' BY CYNDI LAUPER IS PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL BECAUSE I THINK IT SUMS ME UP BEST. ALSO, I WOULD LIKE ONE BY WILL YOUNG AND ONE BY JAMES BLUNT, BECAUSE IF MY HEART WROTE SONGS IT WOULD SOUND LIKE THEIRS.
IF I DON'T DIE, THERE'S A VERY GOOD CHANCE THAT IN LOSING MY WISDOM TEETH, I WILL LOSE MY WISE. I DON'T WANNA LOSE MY WISE. IT IS OBVIOUS WHO HAS NO WISDOM TEETH AS THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO WISE. BEN AND RICHARD HAVE PROBABLY HAD THEIRS REMOVED.
SO YEAH, IF I COME BACK TOMORROW NIGHT AND SEEM A LITTLE ODD, IT COULD BE THE MORPHINE DRIP HANGING OUT OF MY ARM, BUT MOST LIKELY IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE RUN OUT OF WISE.
For the record, I have plenty of wise and as far as I know I survived.
